pancakes

i didn't realize this until today. i mean. maybe i did realize this before. i probably did. i've been making pancakes for years. decades even. an eternityyyy.

pancakes.

greg taught me how to make pancakes. i was a teenager. he didn't wake me up and like, oooo...yolanda today we're going to learn how to make pancakes! it also wasn't the first time i made pancakes. i used to use a lot of butter in the pan. maybe that's how my mom made them? i just knew butter was good. not that i liked it on my pancakes.

why are we talking about pancakes?

i made pancakes this afternoon for my knight and me. i couldn't sleep last night. i was awake until 4. i even got up and made hot chocolate. the sugar probably didn't help, but i wanted what i wanted.

we were in the apartment in coronado. the ones the cult leader ...holy shit. nine of us. two sets of parents with two kids each. and a random member. nine of us in a two bedroom two and a half bath condo. apartment? what's the difference? don't tell me, i won't remember.

he was making pancakes for his kids. which meant he was making pancakes for everyone. we used either bisquick or krusteaz. i know we had both in the house. apartment. condo! ugh.

he probably wasn't even telling me. maybe he was, though, bc his kids were younger than us and weren't interested in pancakes. was i watching because he was cute? listening because he wasn't my parents and i didn't hate him like i hated his stuck up and too good for everyone wife (fuck, i did NOT get along with her. maybe she's who i learned how to be a bitch from. interesting. yes. always with the snide remarks. ooo this is good.)? this was before cell phones and you toobs. but we still walked around reading books when we could.

the two of them were 14 years older than me. i remember because on my 14th birthday they talked about how they were twice  my age. or one of them was. christ with the memory. wow. they'll be 60. 

where was i? pancakes.

he said you knew it was time to turn them when the bubbles showed up. maybe he had watched me flip them too soon and smash them. i remember holding the spatula on them (or was that grilled cheese? no. it was pancakes...my god...are you still reading?) to make the middle mound go away. they were always too thick.

he said the best time to turn them was when there were bubbles and the edge had started to cook. then it was an easy flip.

i remembered that this morning while watching bubbles form on pancakes.

i saw the bubbles and noticed the edges solidifying a bit. i slid my spatula around the pancake edge into the middle for the perfect flip.

the first pancake is usually a dud. i got two pancakes in a row before my first "grilled" pancake. small adjustments. 

always small adjustments.